Where are all the moms?
Growing up my mom had the best of friends. They all came together and raised their kids along side one another. We went camping, competed in “family olympics”, colored Easter eggs, and just in general did life together. I would joke that I grew up with three moms. Now as a mother myself, I have found myself wondering where are all the moms? How do I find relationships like that?
Can’t we all agree, we’ve asked that question a million times. We all know motherhood is just better when we do it together, but finding the right people to do it together with can feel so intimidating. Where do we even start? What if they don’t like me? When will I have time? etc.
It’s daunting, but the benefits of seeking out other mothers in a similar season as we are far out weighs the benefits.
BENEFITS OF CONNECTING WITH OTHER
FEELING LESS ALONE
Motherhood can feel isolating and lonely as we taking on the responsibility of raising a child, and it isn’t always because we are literally alone but it can feel like no one else gets what we are dealing with with our specific child. None of the schedules are working, you can’t identify the sleepy cues, what worked yesterday isn’t working today, and everyone everywhere is telling you something different. Having other real life mom friends can really help ground us in the fact that everyone is dealing with something and no one is living that perfect Pinterest lifestyle we see throw around on social media all the time. Connecting in the nitty gritty of life with other moms gives us a group of women to rally around us and dang does it feel good to recognize we are doing this thing together.
GAINING CONFIDENCE IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS
I don’t know about you, but sometimes just going to the grocery store with your little can feel daunting. When we connect with other mothers we can tackle some of the daily tasks together and even try new fun groups together as well. It isn’t as scary to get out of the house when you have someone to do it with! Find a friend and take on the outing as a team and watch as some of that anxiety around social situations melts away. (I’m not saying all of it will, but dang does it help to do it with someone).
A PLACE TO GET ADVICE
You know when you wake up and your baby is doing something TOTALLY new? What is this? Is it normal? What do other moms do in this situation? - all things having a community of mothers around you can help with. I can’t tell you how many times I have sent a text to my sister in laws asking about some weird situation with my son and how even more times than that they have talked me off a ledge reminding me of the reality of a situation. We’ve got to have somewhere to go when we don’t know what to do and what better place is there than to other women who are also raising babies of their own?
SOMEONE TO CELEBRATE WITH
Your daughter just rolled over. Your son took his first steps. Your kindergartner started reading. Whatever it is it feels so good to be able to send a video over to your motherhood bestie so you both can celebrate the wins together. Motherhood can feel exhausting, like it’s one battle after another but there are often so many things to celebrate along the way. Don’t miss those and lifting up those wins with a community is something that feels better than ever!
Okay I know, we get it - doing motherhood with other moms is critical, but where are the moms at? I’m glad you asked, let me tell you!
WHERE CAN I FIND OTHER MOMS?
LIBRARY STORY TIMES
Most local libraries offer free story times and the best thing about them is they are often by age group - babies, toddlers, etc. Libraries are not only an amazing way for your child to get access to books, but is a perfect way to connect with other mothers that have kids close in age to yours. Don’t be afraid to stay after and chat with one another as your kiddos run around. The library is a great outing for everyone in the family, so take advantage of it!
MOPS
MOPS (or mothers of preschoolers) is a great nationwide organization that is for anyone that has kids that are not yet in school. (No, your child does not have to be in preschool in order to attend a group). These groups are a great way to get together with a group of mothers, chat about different life obstacles, and celebrate the joys of motherhood together. If you go to the MOPS website you can find tons of groups that met in different places at various times. Better yet, grab a pal from the library, church, or a mommy & me class and ask them to come with you, the more the merrier!
CHURCH
Not only is church where I met my husband is now where I find the women I really want to invest my time into. I’ve learned the more I get involved in serving and small groups at my church the more women God places in my life at just the right time and this couldn’t be more true as I have entered motherhood. Plus if you go to a church and can’t find moms, maybe this is your sign to become the gathering place and start a small group with mothers in your church! Step out and watch as God overflows your life with people you never knew you needed!
MOM FITNESS GROUPS
Before I was a mom I had NO idea that there were fitness groups that got together WITH THEIR BABIES and worked out! It blew me away and its honestly such an amazing way for mom to get out and moving without having to stress about childcare. In my area I can think of a local mom’s group that walks together once a month and then another group called FIT4MOM that does various workouts, moms night outs, and even playdates. If you’re not sure where to look locally social media and google will really be your best friends!
LOCAL MOM FACEBOOK GROUPS
Okay, now social media can be hard, but it also can be great. There are probably multiple local motherhood Facebook groups just for your town alone. Some of them might be more drama than its worth, but some of them are great for getting suggestions on where to take your little ones and even on getting together with other mothers. Join some groups, look around them, and be willing to reach out! You might be surprised how many other women are in those groups looking for the same thing you are!
MOMMY & ME CLASSES
There are endless types of classes for you to go to with your little one. You could go to swim lessons, music classes, a gymnasium or more. Look up classes near you to get your kiddo into something they love, but also connect with parents of children that have similar interests!
SCHOOL PICK UP/DROP OFF
I know it sounds crazy, but remember my mom and her two besties? Yeah, they connected when one of their kids were in preschool. Often times at drop off/pick up if you get out of your car there are a lot of parents just waiting around for their kids and you will see each other very frequently too. Offer a smile, start some small talk, or gravitate towards the parents of the kids you notice your child is hangout with. This is a great way to build lasting relationships especially if your kids are already connected.
PARKS, AQUARIUMS, ZOOS ETC.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized if I go to the park on a random Tuesday, the aquarium on a Thursday morning, or even the zoo on a Monday that all of the places really seem to be less busy and it makes the chance of me running into another mom of a little one higher. Just the other day I was following my son around at the aquarium and he bumped right into another one year old boy and the mom and I started chatting. Going out and about to places other parents bring their kids just creates such an organic opportunity to connect with other mothers. Who knows maybe your motherhood bestie is waiting for you if you just give it a shot!
